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How to lock your bicycle



Lock your bike. Please. I have a dangerous amount of faith in humanity, but nonetheless, I IMPLORE you, to please lock your bike. This months blog was inspired by getting coffee in my kitchen one morning recently, and looking out at the courtyard watching the passersby’s pass by, and seeing a man, with a small bag holding some tools, casually walk up and cut a lock and steal a bicycle IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. THE AUDACITY! 


It was a neighbor’s bicycle. I reported it to the politei. But we haven’t seen it yet. 

So, I figured I would photograph a couple days of commuting on my doggler and the locking situations I’ve come across. Amsterdam is the city of bicycles, and thus, it can often be hard to find a good place to lock the bike. And also, thus, there are a shocking amount of bicycle thefts in this beautiful city of prosperity and tranquility. So it goes. 

Oh the city of bikes. Things can sit around for a while. 

Below you can see my lock. It’s a heavy as hell stainless steel chain with an Abus 90/50 stainless steel lock. Together it weighs 10 pounds. I wouldn’t trust my beautiful, lovely, perfect, amazing, Hudski Doggler with anything else. 

Stuff gets stolen. Bike gets confiscated. Bikes fall over on top of each other. Shit, sometimes they just end up in the canals. In general, while commuting around Amsterdam, I try and leave my bike outside as little as possible, and take it in at night. Normally, someone would have a cheap city bike worth nothing that can get trashed. But I’m only here for two months, and honestly, I prefer to ride a fun, fast, jumpy bike I can hop off curbs and do wheelies on while getting groceries. Life is more fun that way. Why bother with boring bikes? 

Case #1. Getting lunch with an old friend. This is right in the center of town, and there was no empty rack around, so I just put the bike on the window, locked the wheel to the frame, and we ate within spitting distance. Not a great lock job. 3/10.

Case #2. Going to Vodafone to get my sim sorted. Stupid Vodafone. Why are they so awful?

Anyways, super full bike rack, and I could just squeak the bike in and managed to lock it to the rack. Rear wheel and frame, plus it’s super lodged in there, and I’m just going across the street. Nice job Ev. 7.5/10.

Case #3. Stopping for Doner on the way home. Oh man, the Doner in Amsterdam is world class. TBH, it’s my favorite thing to eat here. Kinda sad, but cheap, fast, delicious, not too bad for you? Maybe?

Once again, all the bike racks were full. So I’m locking to some scaffolding which is dumb because construction can get made or just take your bike at any time. But it was past working hours, and I was eating right behind the bike. Rear wheel and frame again. Nice. Kinda sketch tho. Ehhh. 6/10. Gotta get out fast. 

Case #4. Easy. Stopping at the bike shop. Space on the bike rack, I’m in and out right across the street. No stress here. Wheel and frame. Chill. 9/10.

Case #5. This one’s funny. Stopping by the museum to see a friend who works there. Crazy bike rack situation. Maybe a hurricane came through. Who knows. Got my bike in though, but it was a tight fit. The chain is pretty short, so I couldn’t get the wheel in. Also, this chaos stresses me out. And this is a busy as hell part of town. Right on the old canals. And there’s some valuables in the framebag but don’t tell anyone, please? Mediocre job. Couldn’t do better. 5/10.

Case #6. Down to the local Surinamese spot for dinner. No space in the nearby bike rack as everyone went home for the evening and we’re in the suburbs. But there was conveniently this nice pole that said one way street, bikes exempted. Hell yeah. Of course someone could pick the bikes up and over the pole, but if they go through all that work, I commend them and maybe they even deserve a bike. Also, my girlfriend and I’s bikes were chained together, so it would be even harder. No Superman in Amsterdam. 8/10 job. 

Also, how cute is that little Peugeot?

Quick aside. Check out these Balenciaga’s I saw while riding down the bike lane the other day. The tread on the bottom of the shoe is just like a Maxxis Rekon lol

And if you’re going to use your Doggler as a city bike and commute on it, which you absolutely should, I do recommend getting one of these guys. They bolt on to the seatstay bridge and add another layer of protection. Super chill. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk and please be safe out there. Ride bikes. Keep bikes. 

And fuck bike thiefs. 

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